STEVEN FROM LONDON
 
ON A RECENT LADS TRIP TO AMSTERDAM, MY MATE WHO IS A BIT OF A LADIES MAN WAS ATTRACTED TO THE MOST GORGEOUS LOOKING WOMEN WE HAD EVER SEEN.
SHE HAD LEGS UP TO HER ARMPITS AND LONG DARK HAIR, SHE WAS STUNNING, AND SHE WAS SITTING AT THE BAR OF OUR HOTEL.
 
SO THINKING HE IS THE MOST IRRESPIRABLE MAN ON EARTH, HE MADE A BEE LINE FOR HER, PULLING OUT ALL THE TRICKS IN THE BOOK, AND ALL HIS OLD CHAT UP LINES.
 
AS USUAL HE MANAGED TO PULL IT OFF, AND THIS HEAVENLY CREATURE FELL FOR THE PLAY, HOOK LINE AND SINKER, MUCH TO OUR DESPAIR AS FOR ONCE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO SEE HIM FALL FLAT ON HIS FACE.
 
HE CAME BACK TO THE TABLE WE WERE SITTING AT . FULL OF HIMSELF, AND GAVE US THE NOD, SAYING THAT HE HAD PULLED , AND ASKED THAT I SHARE ANOTHER ROOM FOR THE NIGHT AS HE WANTED TO ENTERTAIN HIS NEW FRIEND IN OURS.
 
LATER WE ALL RETURNED TO OUR ROOMS. I BUNKED IN WITH SOME OF THE LADS NEXT DOOR TO THE ROOM I SHARED WITH LOVER BOY.
 
WE ALL SETTLED DOWN FOR THE NIGHT, WHEN WE HEARD A BIG COMMOTION COMING FROM THE ROOM MY FRIEND WAS IN, AND HEARD TWO MALE VOICES SHOUTING LOUDLY. THINKING THAT OUR FRIEND HAD AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR EG; THE YOUNG LADIES BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND WE CHARGED NEXT DOOR.
 
THE LOVELY GIRL CAME RUSHING OUT OF THE ROOM, PICKING UP ITEMS OF CLOTHING.AS WE RUSHED INTO THE ROOM READY TO DEFEND OUR FRIEND WE FOUND OUR MATE WHITE AS A SHEET AND SHAKING. WHEN HE HAD CALMED DOWN. HE EXPLAINED TO US, THAT HE HAD BEEN GETTING ROMANTIC WITH HIS NEW FRIEND AND AS THE PASSION ROSE HIS HANDS BEGAN TO WANDER ALL OVER HER BODY.
 
BUT HIS HANDS DISCOVERED MORE THAN HE BARGAINED FOR, HE CAME IN CONTACT WITH AN UNEXPECTED LUMP- IN AN AREA YOU WOULDN'T EXPECT THERE SHOULD BE ONE ON SUCH A LOVELY CREATURE.
 
HE SUDDENLY FOUND HIMSELF IN NO-MAN'S LAND, AND YELLING IN SHOCK, TOLD HIS GUEST IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS WHERE TO GO. THE SO - CALLED LADY HEADED FOR THE DOOR, RATHER HASTILY - NOT BEFORE ASKING FOR MONEY IN RATHER A DEEP VOICE.
 
MY FRIEND IS NOW VERY CAREFUL WHO HE PRACTISES HIS LADY-KILLER MOVES ON.
 
Lucy from cornwall
 
 
Have you ever had a friend, who you only have to look at, and you automatically know what they are thinking.
I think working in social care, makes you have a different kind of warped sense of humour. It is used as protection against the stressess and strains that can happen in the course of the work
 
things that other people might not find amusing, we do, and if you have a great friend, and you share the same kind of humour, it makes the sadness that the job can entails, get pushed away for a little while.
 
i have found that most of the social care profession have this sense of humour, as i suppose we are dealing with every day personal care and some of the most disgusting things imaginable including death, some people might find it rather extreme, and we never humiliate or degrade people, but i reckon fire men, police men the nursing profession etc all have this weird humour. let me know